After so long din update my blog,my feelings become very complex...Happy?sad?worry?touched?All just accumulate in my heart,until i don't even know want to use any words to describe it...A lot of things happen to me...Let me describe it one by one,or else i really don't know how to start this blog..
BAKAT CHUNG HWA
This word really make me feel tired...Whenever people say about this word,my feeling will become very complex...HAPPY coz i can really show a different huisan on this day,someone can't even believe the one sing at the stage really is huisan...Does this means that the ordinary huisan and the huisan who is singing at the stage have too much difference??I admit that,for me...I also think so...At the stage,I can find my confidence which i don't even have in other aspect...That is one of the reasons that i like to sing...Sing can express my feeling very well...Most of the time i sing sad songs,this is because i really is a pessimistic person..
TIRED coz everytime i will cause of this event and can busy until i don't even have time to think any other things else..And at that moment,in my brain all just will full of lyrics,full of melodies...My feeling at that time is really very excited,until i can't even concentrate into any other things already...
SAD coz i still coz of sing and singand sing until i really forget other things include study...So,that's why i said my feelings are such complex...Ok,let us talk about bakat chung hwa instead of keep on describing my feelings..Most happy things is my group succeed to get champion again...But this time is totally different..Another new group with me,this group have xiaw sher,that is one of my best friends,who is extremely like to sing,good in singing malay songs..another one is Desmond,my class's monitor and quite famous in chung hwa as he very good in communicating,can friend with anyone...and finally another new guy called chun way who always show his cute face infront of everyone but actually i don't think he is really happy sometime and quite good in singing...My group's members all really work hard for this competition and i really appreciate that...That's why our hard works get pays!!Hmm,any comments about our performance?for our singing and what should we do while at the stage,we really plan hard and practice...Instead of work hard,we also spend hard..=.='guess what?for our cloths,we have spend almost rm 320!!!I can say that,before this,for my any performance,i never spend so much...
Besides that,I also FORCED to perform solo songs...And the teacher last minutes just ask me to sing...=.='.Not only that,he also choose a 'very special' song for me,that is the oldest song that i ever sing...I can say that i really try hard to sing as this song is really really very slow...So,that's why i choose to sing without music...How you all think of my singing??I do not feel good while singing this song lor,as i really don't have any confidence while singing this song as i really never tried to sing such old song..
No matter how,when all of this come to an end,what a relief!!!I do not feel tired for singing,just I feel tired..coz I can't spend time to practice,coz of ultimate reason,i can't practice songs while at home...So,I just can practice at school,so this makes me really indeed crazy ..busy and very tired...But,if give me enough time,I really like such life,that is singing life~that is one of the reasons that i think my ambition is to be a singer...but i don't think this dream can achieved.I will not feel tired if give me such singing life,as i really very very like to sing...But,maybe all of this just always can be my dream,i can never achieve it...
QUARREL HAPPEN IN MY FAMILY
I think,i will not describe the quarrel that happens in my family,coz i think this is not good to say out everything about my family in blog...So,I just can express my feeling right here...I really don't understand,if we choose to love someone,then why can't we tolerate with our love one?For me,once i love or care someone,I really can sacrifice everything just for them,include time,energy..and of course myself,just can do whatever to make them happy,will feel extremely bad when i see them sad...is it what i did is wrong?Love not suppose to be like this?Love can be affected by any other reasons,can fade coz of no reasons??If it is really like this,then why we should sacrifice ourselves and even any other things for our loves one,and what for we doing all of this if Love can never last forever?If Love can so easily being affected and can't even last forever,what for human still keep on compete until die for their loves one or cares one??haihz,i really don't understand...what can i say just,all of this really make me feel very tired about human relationship,no energy to care all of this already,no matter is family,friendship or even think about those couple relationship,I just feel really tired...
MY BIRTHDAY
What word should i use to describe my feeling on this day??First of all,I am very touched for my all best friends that really wait until exactly 12a.m 20/10/2008 just to send a birthday message for me..Thanks ya,chuey sien,ling fei,meiyee,yiewan,maria,Jessilyn shi hui,meijiun,wooi mee,iznin,yi hao,xiaw sher,caryn...Thanks ya,i really remember whoever send message for me,coz i know this is 'true wishes' that really meant to me...
Besides that,thanks ya for this two best friends,Xiaw sher and caryn^^ who spend their days just to make a special beautiful cards for me and do a special chocolate cake for me..Although when receiving the presents,I just can say thanks you...but,you all don't even know how much it means to me...I really feel very touched..Thanks..I really appreciate that...Just i don't know how to express how touched i am..hahaha..i am shy mar...=.='hahaha..THANKS^^
Hmm,besides that i also get a free call from hotlink,Thanks you hotlink^^I really feel very happy for this service,coz i can have chance to call my special best friends^^As i really very long dun even have chance to talk to them..
First one,MEI YEE^^UNBELIEVABLE!!We talk for 2 hours!!!I really very long din hear her sweet voice...we really share everything happily...I really express everything in my heart to her,include my sadness and happiness...I can feel she really tried her best to give her advice...and her words really wake me up!!!She also share her stories at her college there with me..meiyee,don't worry ya,I always believe that you can...I always support you fully in my heart...no matter what difficulties that you faced,i will try my best to share with you...I really appreciate what you did to me...that is what i called true friend...When i am sad,you always is the one sharing all of this with me...I really don't even know what should i say to you...of course when i am happy,i always will share with her...how much i appreciate this best friend...After talking with you,i just realise how much i miss you...But,I believe our friendship will last forever...I promise,I will not let anything that break our friendship...friendship forever^^meiyee,Thanks...although this word i really so many times to you,but i think even i say for thousands of time,there is still not enough...coz you really help me a lot...what you said,i will remember it...curved in my heart...
second one..YIEWAN AND CHUEY SIEN^^
this two voice shout 2gether hor,really will make my ear pekak already...haha...I really very long din so happy already...^^you two really cheer me up whenever i am sad..and share my sadness when i am sad..I really appreciate that...
YIEWAN~
don't be so manja already lar..haiyo..18th years old already eh!!!haha...But,everytime i ask you don't be manja,but actually i really like your manja face..hahaha..and i really miss your manja face very much^^still remember our K.l trip??when we sleep together,i still remember your cute face hor^^hahahaha...and of course when we play at sunway and genting,your cute shout,i will always remember^^don't think that i will forget oo^^!!!!and yie wan,don't give up ya,I know you can de.I believe you can settle those physic questions!!!I will always support you ya..Thanks ya,sometime when i am extremely down,but after i hear your manja voice,and your cute jokes,you really able to cheer me up^^and i really miss the moment you call me 'siao po',hahaha...Very long already i din hear this name,call me le when you are back^^I miss it..siao po!!!gambateh ya for your exam,waiting you come back,this time we sure will meet ya^^or else i will mecok you,hmph!!!!haha..
CHUEY SIEN~
don't be so stress la ya,haiyo..Sometime you really can de,but you really think too much already..I always believe you really can de.Chuey sien,thanks for trusting me,and let me share your sadness when you really sad.Honestly,I really willing to share every of your sadness...I am very happy that you trust me and willing to let me share your troubles,and sadness...So,never feel sorrow when u want to share with me your sadness ya,i always welcome^^chuey sien,never doubt that you are one of my best friends la..haha,sometime when i said you are my best friend,you like shock or anything...Sometime try to have confident to yourself..k?the difficulties that you face will make you stronger and more tough^^maybe you will feel you are bad luck right now,but maybe you will feel how lucky you are in the future,k??haha,gambateh ya^^i always always always support you too^^No matter what obstacle you have infront of you,let me cross all of this together with you,k??Gambateh together~!!!Don't ever give up ya^^
waiting to see you two^^I really very miss the moment we can talk together happily in the class.Yiewan,i miss your jokesT.T..haha,now without your jokes,sometime really noone can cheer me up le..pity meT.T...chuey sien,when i have sadness,i also thinking of you le,as sometimes we really have some similarities...miss you two so much^^know what?that day when i call u two and talking with you two,i really feel very happy,it is just like we back to the moment that we talk happily and crazy at class...Haihz,damn miss that time...gambateh to you two ya,I will always always support you too^^
MUET SPEAKING TEST
wah,such a scary day for me..But,after this test come to the end,suddenly i feel it is quite interesting for me..haha..It is a great experience for me...Honestly i am happy for having such group with me,coz all members of my group are quite cooperate..Thanks god^^At first,when i know I will be the first one of the first group,I really feel i am having bad luck..But,after thinking of your support and your advice,suddenly I become very calm...and able to speak quite smoothly during the exam...Thanks ya,friend...such a wonderful best friend for me...
Test
Haihz,this time exam result really cham,but I think all of this just can blame myself who really don't even work hard for it...And coz of your words,I promise..I really promise i will not being affected by any other things or person,but only will concentrate into my study..Whenever i feel like want to give up,I sure think of your words...which really wake me up....We gambateh together ya,that is what i promise...
CONCLUSION
And all of this event..and coz of someone and even some words which really hurts me...I really will change...change into a person that I will not too cares of any other friends who i think they don't even cares of me...Coz no point that sacrifice for someone that do not appreciate you,right?what you did just meaningless...All of this happen around me,really affected me a lot...And I really don't think Love can last forever...If someone really change their heart...And i admit,if a distance between two friends is too far,their friendship will not last long..no matter the distance that i mean is distance between places...or even distance between two best friend's heart...So,what can do?Just nothing..For now,I just will cares anyone that i can feel they really cares for me,appreciate me...Then,i will eventually appreciate them and cares like how they treat me...I will sacrifice my time,my energy,and even myself ..for the ones that cares me and i also cares for them...
BAKAT CHUNG HWA
This word really make me feel tired...Whenever people say about this word,my feeling will become very complex...HAPPY coz i can really show a different huisan on this day,someone can't even believe the one sing at the stage really is huisan...Does this means that the ordinary huisan and the huisan who is singing at the stage have too much difference??I admit that,for me...I also think so...At the stage,I can find my confidence which i don't even have in other aspect...That is one of the reasons that i like to sing...Sing can express my feeling very well...Most of the time i sing sad songs,this is because i really is a pessimistic person..
TIRED coz everytime i will cause of this event and can busy until i don't even have time to think any other things else..And at that moment,in my brain all just will full of lyrics,full of melodies...My feeling at that time is really very excited,until i can't even concentrate into any other things already...
SAD coz i still coz of sing and singand sing until i really forget other things include study...So,that's why i said my feelings are such complex...Ok,let us talk about bakat chung hwa instead of keep on describing my feelings..Most happy things is my group succeed to get champion again...But this time is totally different..Another new group with me,this group have xiaw sher,that is one of my best friends,who is extremely like to sing,good in singing malay songs..another one is Desmond,my class's monitor and quite famous in chung hwa as he very good in communicating,can friend with anyone...and finally another new guy called chun way who always show his cute face infront of everyone but actually i don't think he is really happy sometime and quite good in singing...My group's members all really work hard for this competition and i really appreciate that...That's why our hard works get pays!!Hmm,any comments about our performance?for our singing and what should we do while at the stage,we really plan hard and practice...Instead of work hard,we also spend hard..=.='guess what?for our cloths,we have spend almost rm 320!!!I can say that,before this,for my any performance,i never spend so much...
Besides that,I also FORCED to perform solo songs...And the teacher last minutes just ask me to sing...=.='.Not only that,he also choose a 'very special' song for me,that is the oldest song that i ever sing...I can say that i really try hard to sing as this song is really really very slow...So,that's why i choose to sing without music...How you all think of my singing??I do not feel good while singing this song lor,as i really don't have any confidence while singing this song as i really never tried to sing such old song..
No matter how,when all of this come to an end,what a relief!!!I do not feel tired for singing,just I feel tired..coz I can't spend time to practice,coz of ultimate reason,i can't practice songs while at home...So,I just can practice at school,so this makes me really indeed crazy ..busy and very tired...But,if give me enough time,I really like such life,that is singing life~that is one of the reasons that i think my ambition is to be a singer...but i don't think this dream can achieved.I will not feel tired if give me such singing life,as i really very very like to sing...But,maybe all of this just always can be my dream,i can never achieve it...
QUARREL HAPPEN IN MY FAMILY
I think,i will not describe the quarrel that happens in my family,coz i think this is not good to say out everything about my family in blog...So,I just can express my feeling right here...I really don't understand,if we choose to love someone,then why can't we tolerate with our love one?For me,once i love or care someone,I really can sacrifice everything just for them,include time,energy..and of course myself,just can do whatever to make them happy,will feel extremely bad when i see them sad...is it what i did is wrong?Love not suppose to be like this?Love can be affected by any other reasons,can fade coz of no reasons??If it is really like this,then why we should sacrifice ourselves and even any other things for our loves one,and what for we doing all of this if Love can never last forever?If Love can so easily being affected and can't even last forever,what for human still keep on compete until die for their loves one or cares one??haihz,i really don't understand...what can i say just,all of this really make me feel very tired about human relationship,no energy to care all of this already,no matter is family,friendship or even think about those couple relationship,I just feel really tired...
MY BIRTHDAY
What word should i use to describe my feeling on this day??First of all,I am very touched for my all best friends that really wait until exactly 12a.m 20/10/2008 just to send a birthday message for me..Thanks ya,chuey sien,ling fei,meiyee,yiewan,maria,Jessilyn shi hui,meijiun,wooi mee,iznin,yi hao,xiaw sher,caryn...Thanks ya,i really remember whoever send message for me,coz i know this is 'true wishes' that really meant to me...
Besides that,thanks ya for this two best friends,Xiaw sher and caryn^^ who spend their days just to make a special beautiful cards for me and do a special chocolate cake for me..Although when receiving the presents,I just can say thanks you...but,you all don't even know how much it means to me...I really feel very touched..Thanks..I really appreciate that...Just i don't know how to express how touched i am..hahaha..i am shy mar...=.='hahaha..THANKS^^
Hmm,besides that i also get a free call from hotlink,Thanks you hotlink^^I really feel very happy for this service,coz i can have chance to call my special best friends^^As i really very long dun even have chance to talk to them..
First one,MEI YEE^^UNBELIEVABLE!!We talk for 2 hours!!!I really very long din hear her sweet voice...we really share everything happily...I really express everything in my heart to her,include my sadness and happiness...I can feel she really tried her best to give her advice...and her words really wake me up!!!She also share her stories at her college there with me..meiyee,don't worry ya,I always believe that you can...I always support you fully in my heart...no matter what difficulties that you faced,i will try my best to share with you...I really appreciate what you did to me...that is what i called true friend...When i am sad,you always is the one sharing all of this with me...I really don't even know what should i say to you...of course when i am happy,i always will share with her...how much i appreciate this best friend...After talking with you,i just realise how much i miss you...But,I believe our friendship will last forever...I promise,I will not let anything that break our friendship...friendship forever^^meiyee,Thanks...although this word i really so many times to you,but i think even i say for thousands of time,there is still not enough...coz you really help me a lot...what you said,i will remember it...curved in my heart...
second one..YIEWAN AND CHUEY SIEN^^
this two voice shout 2gether hor,really will make my ear pekak already...haha...I really very long din so happy already...^^you two really cheer me up whenever i am sad..and share my sadness when i am sad..I really appreciate that...
YIEWAN~
don't be so manja already lar..haiyo..18th years old already eh!!!haha...But,everytime i ask you don't be manja,but actually i really like your manja face..hahaha..and i really miss your manja face very much^^still remember our K.l trip??when we sleep together,i still remember your cute face hor^^hahahaha...and of course when we play at sunway and genting,your cute shout,i will always remember^^don't think that i will forget oo^^!!!!and yie wan,don't give up ya,I know you can de.I believe you can settle those physic questions!!!I will always support you ya..Thanks ya,sometime when i am extremely down,but after i hear your manja voice,and your cute jokes,you really able to cheer me up^^and i really miss the moment you call me 'siao po',hahaha...Very long already i din hear this name,call me le when you are back^^I miss it..siao po!!!gambateh ya for your exam,waiting you come back,this time we sure will meet ya^^or else i will mecok you,hmph!!!!haha..
CHUEY SIEN~
don't be so stress la ya,haiyo..Sometime you really can de,but you really think too much already..I always believe you really can de.Chuey sien,thanks for trusting me,and let me share your sadness when you really sad.Honestly,I really willing to share every of your sadness...I am very happy that you trust me and willing to let me share your troubles,and sadness...So,never feel sorrow when u want to share with me your sadness ya,i always welcome^^chuey sien,never doubt that you are one of my best friends la..haha,sometime when i said you are my best friend,you like shock or anything...Sometime try to have confident to yourself..k?the difficulties that you face will make you stronger and more tough^^maybe you will feel you are bad luck right now,but maybe you will feel how lucky you are in the future,k??haha,gambateh ya^^i always always always support you too^^No matter what obstacle you have infront of you,let me cross all of this together with you,k??Gambateh together~!!!Don't ever give up ya^^
waiting to see you two^^I really very miss the moment we can talk together happily in the class.Yiewan,i miss your jokesT.T..haha,now without your jokes,sometime really noone can cheer me up le..pity meT.T...chuey sien,when i have sadness,i also thinking of you le,as sometimes we really have some similarities...miss you two so much^^know what?that day when i call u two and talking with you two,i really feel very happy,it is just like we back to the moment that we talk happily and crazy at class...Haihz,damn miss that time...gambateh to you two ya,I will always always support you too^^
MUET SPEAKING TEST
wah,such a scary day for me..But,after this test come to the end,suddenly i feel it is quite interesting for me..haha..It is a great experience for me...Honestly i am happy for having such group with me,coz all members of my group are quite cooperate..Thanks god^^At first,when i know I will be the first one of the first group,I really feel i am having bad luck..But,after thinking of your support and your advice,suddenly I become very calm...and able to speak quite smoothly during the exam...Thanks ya,friend...such a wonderful best friend for me...
Test
Haihz,this time exam result really cham,but I think all of this just can blame myself who really don't even work hard for it...And coz of your words,I promise..I really promise i will not being affected by any other things or person,but only will concentrate into my study..Whenever i feel like want to give up,I sure think of your words...which really wake me up....We gambateh together ya,that is what i promise...
CONCLUSION
And all of this event..and coz of someone and even some words which really hurts me...I really will change...change into a person that I will not too cares of any other friends who i think they don't even cares of me...Coz no point that sacrifice for someone that do not appreciate you,right?what you did just meaningless...All of this happen around me,really affected me a lot...And I really don't think Love can last forever...If someone really change their heart...And i admit,if a distance between two friends is too far,their friendship will not last long..no matter the distance that i mean is distance between places...or even distance between two best friend's heart...So,what can do?Just nothing..For now,I just will cares anyone that i can feel they really cares for me,appreciate me...Then,i will eventually appreciate them and cares like how they treat me...I will sacrifice my time,my energy,and even myself ..for the ones that cares me and i also cares for them...
3 comments:
Hui San Jia You~~!!
Work your hardest for the present, no matter what happens around you,
but keep on believing in your future..
Things may be better than what you see. At least, you still have your family alive. At least you still have your friends with you. There's so many sad things in this world, but there are equally as many beautiful things, however small or insignificant little happy things, happening everyday in your life..
Ganbatte my dear friend.....
wah.. write til so long.. if i din leave any few words of comment.. wil i being cinsidered 'cruel'??
haha... tht day sorry la. time packed. i juz allow myself to on9 a while to forget abt study temporarily..
thanx you so much.. who always always n always care4me.. ur blog.. really...long till pecah rekod!
stil duno who am i?
err...u are??chuey sien?is it you?wolor,write name le..
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