When we lost something,we just will try to pay attention and appreciate it...

This week I seems moody without reason.I have some weird feelings,some kind like missing people feeling.But,i don't really know who i am missing.Weird,is it?Miss my friends?Miss some moment?Miss a special event?Or anything else?Maybe all...I miss my friends studying at K.L.I miss the moment we being happy together.I miss a lot of events that we are together to celebrate it.A lot of memories still keep on playing in my mind.I know and understand that we should look forward but not look backward by thinking all of this memories.But,for me that,I think i will never forget all memories no matter is sweet or sad.If the memories had goes deeply into my heart and my mind,then i am sure i will never never forget it...

I keep on downloading a lot very very nice piano melody...This makes my heart more and more sour when the miss feeling comes over me more strongly.Try to feel something by closing your eyes while listening all this smooth and damn nice music until I duno how to describe how nice is it...You will feel very very good until i don't know how to use words to describe it.You can ask from me,if you want all this smooth piano melody...~At this moment,you will know who really important in your heart until your mind keep thinking of them.Very amazing feeling.That's why i said human relationship is always the weirdest thing in this world,nothing else...

Human will only appreciate thing when they had lost thing.Same like me..When we nearly lost or had lost something,we just will know their importance and their role playing in our life.Sometimes it is too late for us to do anything,but sometimes the time still allowed us to do something to cure it.Anyway,No matter it is too late or early,I think we still have to try our best to do what we can and what we want,right?As there are chances we also should try.We can meet our friends,our loves one,our families all depends on fate or destiny,right?Do you believe in fate?For me,I quite believe in fate.As there are no reason can explain how actually we will know our friends that staying beside us now,how actually we being together with our loves one,how actually parents are our parents now??There are so many questions marks if we din explain all of this by FATE,this word...

An example,Michael Jackson...When he already left this world,a lot of people just try to appreciate his music that bring so much happiness for us,included me.Maybe a lot of negative news about Him,but we still can't deny His contribution in our music industry,right?News recently really makes me angry,they just admit actually they do added something fake news in Michael Jackson which really bring negative imagine on Michael jackson..Although we can't actually differentiate which news is real about Him,but i still admired Him as the King of Pop songs...His marvellous dance like Moonwalk,robot dance which really amazing and voices that bring out all those damn nice music to all over the world..I bet that nobody can competed with Him...
Our future also seems fated where we will goes..Some people even get good result also can't get what they want.But,some people did get what they want although their result are not really good.Some people born in poor family,and have to makes a lot of effort just can get what they really want,but somehow they might failed to do so.But,some people borin in rich family.Without doing anything,they can get what they want and maybe more than what they really want.This world is not really fair,right?But,i am not going to blame for it.As i believe as it is fated how we will going through our future,so God makes this to us,sure have His reasons...What we can do just tried our best in our life,not to make us regret in the end of our life.Try to appreciate what we have right now....

But again...Human always like that,sometimes although we know it is very important for us to work hard for our life and future,but still we choose to being lazy.The reasons??I also don't know why...As i also one of them who being lazy although i know i should strive hard for what i want....Haha,*sigh* also.Maybe we will being like this just to give chance for our friends to play their role??I also don't know..Haha.But,when i am lazy,i do get motivation from a lot of friends through their words,through their advices,through their actions...That is how actually human relationship works on,right??I do believe this...Sometime through words,can heavily affected someone.So,sometime we should be careful of what we have said.It might bring positive or negative effects to someone...

I am sorry as i always like to say about all of this.But,don't you all think i really able to do all of this ya.Just cause i always failed to do so,Haha.So,i am trying hard to write out all of this to remind myself better...TRY TO APPRECIATE WHAT WE HAVE NOW...That is really the thing that i should learn...And STRIVE HARD also i should learn..No matter how hard our life goes on,we still have to live,right?So,we have to choose to face all of this and goes through all of this bravely.I wish i able to do all of this...

Gathering~~**

Have been a long time i din update my blog,no idea,my computer had been sent to repair for 3 weeks.Wah,in this 3 weeks,really very bored.Life without computer makes me crazy.But also can makes me do homework and study.Haha.I will start with my some sweet gathering.

Lets start with gathering with Yiewan,Chuey sien,Ling fei,Theng theng,eet ying,ee wern and chai ling.Hmm,what should i say about this gathering.It is quite enjoy,i quite like it.This gathering held in KB mall again,a common place..which I go until wana vomit already.Haiz.haha.But by having time with you all,even a boring place also can become very interesting,don't worry.We also take quite a few photos,which is quite nice^^I like it very much.^^And crazy yiewan simply use her new h.p and take crazy photos.Why i say is crazy photos ni?coz all photos she took all show her beauty side,then all friends beside her become weird.=.='naughty yiewan.But,i also like it^^haha.Please send for me if got chance yea.

I also meet with Eet ying,who i din meet her for almost one year!!After our nice,enjoy and happy trip to K.l^^Her hair change colour,become a bit red.O.OHaha..But afterall nothing much change^^still as funny as before.Haha,O.O.One different thing is......Haha,don't want to say about it.You just guest what am i trying to say la ya^^Hope to see you again~

After spending 2 months here,they went for U again.Yiewan,I first time song4 friend at train station de ya,U got appreciate this!!!hahaha...I will miss you.T.TActually when i see you going into train,a bit sad feeling really comes over me.I wish you all the best ya~When got anything,can always msg me like before^^I will ready for you here...Chuey sien,I am sorry i can't song4 u ya,coz that day is schooling dayT.TBut i really also wish you all the best ya.Same as yiewan,when got anything can always msg me like before and of course call me like before^^be here for you two.Take care ya~Theng theng,I also wish you all the best^^be an most professional Akauntan^^!!Aza aza fighting,Gambateh ya for U life^^You all wait me ya,I will try my best in exam so that can join u all at K.L^^hahaha,but got to be you all junior already.T.T

But,i feel sad coz of Ling Fei.What the...You get 4 flat and band 5 for Muet,but get your 7th choices for U places.Is it very 'funny'??I wonder whats wrong with the government?Ling Fei,I wish you all the best ya.No matter what decision you made,i will always support you~When feel helpless or sad,can find me anytime.I will try my best to help you,k?Wishing you all all the best...My dear bestiesss..^^Ok,let me attach some nice photos^^


Smile^^~~!!Peace^^=P

Another one,smile once again^^!!!

Ok,Lets start with another gathering.A friend that have not meet for 7 years!!!Finally we meet again.Her name is chia poh.It's quite shocked when i receive Theng theng messages that chia poh come back here,as i din hear any news from her for 7 years already!!!Can say lost contact already.Nice to meet her back,she changed a lot until i not really know her.Haha.Chia poh,really nice to meet you again.I feel warm feeling from you again,don't know why.Maybe in my heart,i still treat you as bestie ba after so long...Hope to meet you again if got chance.Besides that,i also meet some friends and talk with them,as we long time din talk together already.All of this are classmates of 1 pinang.Haha.Quite miss that time,no worries,just play and play and play,and can see idol every day at class.Such an enjoyful life!!!Ok,here are some photos from us again^^

Nice^^pinky^^

pinky again^^three of us^^
Four of us^^

Ok,that's all about gathering.Next post maybe I will write about journey at xiaw sher's house??Hahaha...Let see what i will write^^

Love's feeling....(To be continue)

How we know when we fall in love with someone?Thinking of her or him for whole day....Even you just meet him,after a few minutes,or even seconds...you will miss him again.In your world,maybe just got her or him...the only one...When you go to shopping centre or anywhere,you will think of buying something for him...thinking of his smiling face when receive your present,you will feel extremely sweet.When you meet him,your face will turn red,your heart will beat faster than usual...You will feel nervous until don't know what to say...Holding his hand or just stay beside of him,you will feel enough sweet and warm...Din meet him for one week,just like ten years for you.You miss him until your tears can out from your eyes...In your dreams,you just will dream of him.

A little action from him enough to make you feel sweet,but for others,even they do hundreds time,you also feel nothing.'I love you' from him enough to make you sweet until don't even can sleep.A bright smile from him,will stay in your mind forever.For you,he is the most handsome guy in this world,noone can replace him in your heart...You will sad coz of him,happy coz of him.Your mood will swing according to his simple actions,words,or even expressions...Holding his hand or even hug him is the most happy or warm thing in your life.Other thing will no longer important for you,he is the most important person in your life at this moment...

Some people can found their soulmates,lead to marriage and have their own kids and stay with their loves one until the end of their life...This is the most happy thing i think in our life no matter they are rich or poor,it doesn't matter anymore.But,some people can just keep their love for someone their loves in their bottom of heart,cannot tell him,cannot show how much they care for their loves one,this is the most sad thing...Everyday just can keep watching him,whenever you see he is sad,you can't do anything,just because you don't even brave to do anything...Whenever you see he is happy,you will feel happy too,but is happy in deep of your heart...You care for him too much but then never can show out...You loves him so much but then you can't even stand near to him,can't even talk to him.You sad for him,but he never knows it...You care for him,he also never know it.How pityful is it....Whatever you did for him,he just know nothing...

Another types...He do whatever things for you,show his care for you,expressed how much he loves you...Everyday find chances just to talk with you,send messages for you,bought or even did whatever present for you just to make you happy..Try to date with you...But,your uncertainty makes he feel so hurted...He even told you,maybe he got cried because of you,but you don't know...He propose for few times,but your uncertainty just like telling him you already rejected him...But,finally..When he totally give up,and found his soulmates.You just realise maybe you already likes him,but not yet totally in love.You feel jealous when you see him and his soulmates pictures..And start missing him,missing his love poems for you,missing his sweet words for you...But,everything already past...You already can't say anything,but then just can keep in your heart...and wait...Maybe one day he will come back to find you again.But,the chances is too small that you can imagine...So,maybe what should you do just let it go...And take a deep breath and maybe you will found your soulmates soon...This is another sad thing in love world...

Love means everything...But,doesn't mean that you have to sad until die because of LOVE.There are still a lot of things in this world that you need to appreciate.Life is just like a brief candle.Don't think too much if it is not needed(just like remind myself),don't sad too much if it is not worth(reminding myself again),don't care too much if it is not worth to care anymore,don't care what others think too much as you can't control their mind and mouth,take a deep breathe...and you will found there are still a lot important friends and family stay beside you...who always supporting you,but just you don't even realise their existence..appreciate them before you regret...人世间情为何物?*sigh...*

*added a romantic love korean drama pictures,try to watch it if you interested,you will touched by their loves....

Relationship between human...

Have been long time din update my blog...At first,plan to write about our F6 motivation kem and my group singing performance,but seems too lazy to write...Maybe next time ba~Last night i watched 小孩不笨二once again,I cried again...Actually this is my third time watched it,but i still cried...Don't know what wrong with me..=.='But,honestly,this movie really very touched.All singapore movie also quite nice,I like to watch such type of movie,钱不够用二also is a touched and funny movie.I think they are really enough pro,can make the movie until so touched instead of funny,then the audience can learn something from it and can have fun too,how meaningful is it...

From all of this,i realise that relationship between humans really is a weird thing and seems noone can actually explain about it.I realise that some people are able to communicate well with their families,they can share whatever sadness and happiness with their families.But,some are not,they don't even can meet their once in a year. Some,although they can meet their families every day,but they seems nothing much to talk about,then i wonder the meaning of FAMILY.For me,of course,i able to talk with my family well.But,if want to talk about my sadness,happiness...I will not choose my family.I also don't know why...Maybe because they don't really understand me...My ambitions not really supported by them. I like to do what i like,just like singing...But,they never understand...Whenever i thinking of this,how sad am i...They don't even allowed me to sing in my school...The feeling if we can't do what we actually like is really very bad.It sounds like they are forcing me to lie to them...which i really don't like to do so,but just no idea.What i can say,just 'sorry'...

Whenever i have friendship problems,i also will just keep in my heart or keep to my other friends.This is just because whenever i want to share with them,they will just ask me to concentrate into study,and said that friends will no longer important to u after some time...I can't deny that they experienced more than us,what they said might be true.But,I still insist with what i believe.I believe in my friends..They are very important in my life.Whenever i am sad,they are the one who cares about me,understand me and support me.Of course,family will playing such role in my life,but for me,not much if compared to friends.Maybe some people don't agree with am i writting here,but just only applied to myself.As the first person i tell or call when i am sad,still FRIEND.Friends are the one understand my feelings...

Of course,family still very important in other aspects,i can't deny this truth.As without them,i can't face infront this p.c,and write this blog.Without them,i will not know how to use my language to express all of this.Without them,there are a lot of things i can't imagine....This is because they tried hard to provide us comfortable life,and let us able to study and become a useful person in future.

Although i believe in friends,but sometime all of this got to depends on how actually the friends that we make.There are some people that can't be trusted,maybe in their life,they don't really understand what is friends.Maybe for them,they just know how to 'use' their friends,but not treat their friends as true friends,will not care for them,support them,sad and happy with them.This really pityful...I don't know what to say about this...So,i hope that when we make friends,we will keep our eyes open..O.O...or else we will just being 'used' by them...and our eyes get blinded by their all lies...

Besides that,i found out something weird too...sometime we can chat nicely with some friends and know some new friends through MSN,messages,or any other ways of contact,but in reality,when we meet,one word also can't even out from my mouth...I don't know whether this can be applied to all of us include you all,or just me such a weird people...Not only that,some best friends...How close we are when in primary school or secondary school,when all people goes to different place to study...And after some time,when we meet together again...We seems not really have any topic to talk.This is really hurted...But,what can we do?This is just the reality of our life.This is the only thing that make me doubts about friendship sometime..Do you think friendship can be forever??I hope friendship will be forever,but i don't know whether it really can be realised or not....I just know,i appreciate every friendship that i had for now...I care for my best friends,i love you all....really...say it out from my bottom of heart....you sad,i am sad...you happy,i will happy for you by watching your smiling face....

Gathering...

Hmm,a gathering is held at Hayaki,a very hot place when evening...=.='haha..hmm,maybe quite long we din meet each other,so less topic can talk about...But,i am happy can meet Yiewan who already with a long hair,become more pretty^^,Maria,Ling fei,Theng theng,Chuey sien,Winnie and Li En.All of them having long hair,except me..T.T..Never mind,I have to be more patient for half more year.Haha...Whenever they talk about their hair,i just can't say even one word..T.T...


Actually nothing change between all of us,just hair...Hmm,Yiewan still as funny like before^^,Ling fei hmm...maybe change into cheerful a bit,always smile...Chuey sien and Maria still also very quiet..haha...Maria still continue her weird behaviour,keep on observing me...=.='make me very shy...Others still same ba~haha...But,of course,long time din meet,so less something can talk.I hope that next time we gather more often then can have more thing to talk~


I always hope that we can have more special gathering,but i have no transport,My mum still give me drive..T.T..so i always failed to plan something special...So,i waiting u all to drive...*evil laugh*this is more applied to ling fei,chuey sien and yiewan!!!who have 2 months holidays...And we can meet more often during this period of time...Maybe we can play badminton sometime??haha...I just hope can spend more time with you all,Friendship forever~~!!I always appreciate our friendship de,please forgive me,sometime i think too much about that,ok??

This are few pictures we took at Hot Hayaki..=.='haha...all looks quite nice,except me..=.='who with short hair...=.='



Pictures 1~cheese^^
Pictures 2~smile^^
Pictures 3~Take 3^^
Yi?where r yiewan??haha,she so wei3 da4,be a cameramen^^good job wanwan,haha~

Exam finished!!!

Have been suffered for four days!!!But,this four days just like four years for me!!Everyday after back from school,although tired like hell,but still need to find back those notes which are nearly become 'yellow',haha..And keep on opening my eyes so that my eyes will not close while reading those notes..=.='Then,my whole day just spend by sitting on the chair and sit infront of my p.c,and reading those boring notes,and memorising those equations,equations which makes me want to vomit and headache...=.='Then,the next day,become another panda huisan.This is really called 平时不烧香，临时抱佛脚!!!!

Honestly,this time exam,i really din try my best...Before the exam,everyone in my class keep on reading biology or chemistry notes already.But,me still keep on talking,crazying and singing with xiaw sher them..Then,during biology period,still having 'kaunselling session'with xiaw sher...haha,wah..what a 'good student" lek me!!!O.O..So,the consequences is i really don't really do well in this BIO exam...Maybe god want to make me hardworking a bit.That's why what i read and memorise hard about cycle in photosynthesis,respiration and homeostasis.Don't even out one essay questions from this 3 chapters!!!!This really annoyed me!!!And the stupid music from the malay school beside our school are having some kind like Karnival Sukan and damn noisy with all the kids sound and malay songs!!!But,this makes our bio paper 1 interesting a bit,not so dull..haha...Everyone in the class keep on laughing due to the funny malay songs...

Then,talk about chemistry...i also din go chemistry extra class that open by my cute cute chemistry teacher..O.o..haha,our cute cute teacher^^!!I am sorry yea,as i am too lazy...And sometime i also don't even copy the notes...I wonder why i am soooo lazy!!!So,the consequences is i can't do well for chemistry paper 1,and even keep on laughing during exam lui..=.='haha...For chemistry paper 2,essay questions still ok for me..But,still got undone part...structured questions although done all,but like simply bom..haha..

And honestly,i never really heard what teacher said during pengajian am...Coz,those politics things seems very foreign for me and i don't even have little interested on it..So,what i did everytime exam is just before the days of pengajian am exam,read all the notes..But,surprisingly,pengajian am is my most good exam if compared with other subjects...But,this time not same...there are too much chapters need to study...All the chapters in a thick P.A book!!!So,this time will be very CHAM for me...no more A for P.A..T.T...I seems blur with all those dasar dasar things...=.='

Finally,hmm about maths...I got did all the homeworks that gave by our maths 1 and maths 2 teachers..sometimes too busy also got miss it lar..=.='But,still can't actually memorise those formula of maths and apply it correctly...I really wonder what is the correct way to study maths...Hmm,Math 2 seems still ok for me...But,maths 1 really damn tough...i seems blur with chapter 5 and chapter 6...T.T...And also thanks to my tuition maths teachers..hahaha,i always din concentrated while he teaching but after that keep on asking pulak,makes him like headache...haha,sorry,teacher~

Conclusion,This exam not seems like an exam for me..hahaha,as i really don't really try my best.But this reflect that i really should try harder for the next exam.(always said so,but never really did it..=.=')Anyway,hope everyone happy after exam finally finished^^!!!!But,scary days coming o,coz result will be distributed soon...T.T,hope will not killed by my mum ba...O.OAnd also happy graduated from matriks for yiewan,chuey sien and ling fei!!!waiting you all come back yea^^hope i can plan something special for us to gather together...=.='instead of kb mall...=.='!!

LOVE?

What is LOVE?This question had been in my mind for quite a long time...First,i think i talk about love between couples.Someone told me,when you in love with a person,when you see that person,your heart will beat very fast,you will miss him or her when you can't see him or her,in your world,he or she is the only one you think for whole day,for you,he is always perfect..is it right?For me,who is very appreciate friendship,even a friend i also will behave like this...If when you see someone,your heart will beat faster and shy,you will miss him sometime as you din see him quite a long time,but,in your mind,he is not the one you think for whole day,in your heart,he is not perfect enough...Then,what is this called??LOVE between friends or you really love him??

LOVE is really such complex thing..Maybe you too easy to fall in love with someone,but if want break,when you want to give up this relationship,it is too hard for you to do this..During this process,you will sacrifice your time,your energy,your tears and everything try to cure this relationship,and it seems like you can't even face this fact and hope for a turning point that can change everything just like before...This is not my experience,of course..LOVE can be very sweet and lead to wonderful marriage and family but also can be very sad till can cause someone do crazy things and commit suicide too..Maybe all of this got to depends on our fate...of course,we ourselves also have to try our best to cure our relationship no matter is between our loves one,our friends or families...

All of this seems easy to say out,but actually if we ourselves want to do that,it is very hard.Our hearts,our tears,our emotions,relationships seems uncontrollable.Sometime,even we tried hard,the thing also will not turn out to be the thing that we wish it to be...maybe it may turn out become more worse...which makes us more sad...This is because when we tried hard,while doing all of this effort to cure it,it seems giving us hopes...But,when it turn to be more worse which we don't even able to predict and expect it to be like this,we will be more disappointed and our heart may break into pieces...more sad if compared to we don't even do anything to cure our relationship...So,if really like this,we should do anything to cure our relationships when it changed or just don't do anything,let god decide all of this??For me,maybe i will choose both,I will do anything to cure relationships no matter is for our loves one,friends or families...no matter it turns to be more worse or better...Coz if really din do anything,one day maybe we will regret...Then,if finally after we tried our best,the thing still turn out to be more worse...I will just let god decide all of this...Hope god will do the best decision for us...Is it right??I also don't know...

Sometime we may feel tired after did all of efforts to cure our relationships...and try to give up...But,before you want to give up,maybe you should take a rest...Try to ask yourself whether you really able to give up...If can't,just take a rest and continue your efforts...Sometime we continue our efforts not only coz of our memories,or any other things...But,just coz of the people that we really concerned all the time,the people who stay in our heart all the time...We will do anything just for our cares one and loves one,right?But,sometime,if loves really changed and can't cure anymore,maybe we should learn to face the facts that our loves one's heart already changed...Of course,i think this is more applied to loves between couples...For friendship and families,there is only one thing will destroy it,that is called 'betray'...But,still,this also more applied to friendship...Until now,there is no such friend that had betrayed me.I don't know the feeling of being betrayed...But,i know,this will be very very hurt...until i don't know want to use words to describe it...I din hope this will happen to me,and i also won't let this thing happen to my lovely friends...So,i most hate such type of friends...

After all,i think,one sentence only i can concluded about LOVE,that is it is really the most complex thing in the world,and the most needed by everyone in this world.Coz,noone will brave to say that,they don't need LOVE,don't need friends,don't need families...right?

When night comes....

Don't know start from when,i start to feel my heart always start to feel pain when night comes...all sadness comes to me...miss feelings comes towards me also...Sometime,i wonder this heart belongs to me or not...I just can't control 'it'...Night,always be my time to miss people...memories always start to play in my mind during night,no matter is sweet,bitter,sad...Sometime,even tears more frequently falls from my eyes during the night...Sometime,i just hope night will not comes...Maybe this is the reason,i always suddenly send message to my friends when night comes...I hope someone to accompany me so that i will not think so much,and some words i really suddenly want to tell them,and sometime suddenly i very miss them...such an emotional huisan appears when night comes...really weird...

When night comes,when i miss some friends,i just realise how important they are in my heart...which i don't realise it...and this causes many dreams comes to me during the night...Dreams,make me more miss them...make me more thinking about our sweet memories...lets see,hmm...i miss our crazy trip to K.L...i miss funny friends who fills my life with laughter...i miss friends that brings warm feeling to me...i miss friends that i don't have chance to meet her and talk with her...i miss friends who i can't talk to her....still a lot a lot that i miss...Sometime i wonder,is it everyday i just live in memories??!!I think 50% is yes...50% is no...Maybe i am just an emotional people that always like to think about memories...as i think it is very crucial in my life...I will not forget it,it will last in my mind and my heart forever...

I dinlike heart pain feeling...it makes my tears come out...it makes me really suffered...It will be worse than being shot...I really willing being shot rather than suffered with this heart pain feeling...You will not understand such pain if you never experienced it before...pain than any wounds in our body...And it have no medicine to cure..this is most worst...If have a medicine that can cure heart pain,i really willing to buy it no matter how expensive it is...But,there are some 'medicine' that atleast can decrease my heart pain feeling...

Someone that I really can count on when i am sad,someone really able to bring me up when i 'fall down'..even fall into 'hell'...Someone that immediately called me when i said i want to hear her voice after so long din meet her...makes me so touched...her voice makes me feel calm...the best friend that i ever had...Thanks so much,and sorry...coz always disturb you when i am sad or trouble...I appreciate you as my best friend...

Another one...always makes me smile and laugh when i am sad...even her single message which is always so funny for me,makes me smile and feel much more better..But,recently,(last night)she makes me feel sweet...haha~hope you will not sad already,k?I am sorry if i failed to entertain you,but I will always try my best to help you...always support you...As you always stay beside me when i feel down...I know you always so optimistic~You always can overcome all of this de,you giving me energy to overcome all of this too,thanks..T.T..Your funny action always able to bring me up~...

Another one..hmm,i know her last year,but we very fast become best friend already...as we same like to sing and always sing together...when i am sad,she always try her best to make me crazy and happy...I really touched too,and crazy with her really can decrease my heart pain feeling...Sometime she really crazy,and sometime she really sad...I hope she will always being crazy~but if sad,dun worry,i will always share with you...sad and happy together~

Anyway,although heart pain feeling being decreased,but it still happen anytime...is it i have heart disease??I really wonder whether there is a disease called 'heart pain'...sweat...=.='

Is it Human always like that?When something precious which always stay beside us,we don't even realise it's existence...but when we lost it,we just realise how important it is...But,when we start to appreciate this,all of this just like come to an end,it's too late to cure it...Then,we just will sad because of it...and start to regret...I think I am one of such type of people...such a big sigh,...if time can return,how good is it?Human will never have regret already,and maybe decrease sadness to be happen,happiness always comes to us...so good...haihzz...

I like rain...

I like the feeling ..

when my body become wet coz of rain...

This is because,

rain can makes my mind suddenly clear of what am i doing right now...

rain can makes me express my feeling...

tears can drop while raining...

again,rain makes my heart feel pain...

when i am sad..

makes me cry...

when i am sad...

but,after burst out everything...

rain finally makes my feeling get better...

stand up again,and fight against future...

why such a miracle thing will drop from the sky?

is it god create rain just coz of the reason that i mentioned?

unknown...

Human always don't know what actually happening...

when we are sad,we don't even know the reason..

sometime...

when we are sad,we can't even think of ways to cheer ourselves up...

when we are happy,we don't even know why that person or certain thing will makes us happy...

is it called as human nature?or common sense?

again...unknown...

all of this maybe just scientist and god know..

but,i really hope one day,i will find out all of this...

I want to know one's thinking...

this is because,

it is too hard..

too sad...

too pity..

that we don't know what is our loves one thinking...

how are us infront of our loves one...

what is our position is in our loves one's heart...

sometimes...

coz of we don't know our loves one thinking..

misunderstanding happen..

quarrel happen...

breaking of heart into pieces happen...

a wonderful relationship broken happen...

a wonderful family broken...

Human always don't want to say out what actually in their heart...

so i really wish i can know what actually my loves one thinking..

includes my family..

my friends..

and my future life partner..

but,is it possible?

words come from our mouth is it really real?

really comes from our true heart...?

coz I myself always din say out and din behave what actually i want...

and what actually i want to say..

and what actually keep in my bottom heart...

noone knows about it...

Noone..

but,is it important?

even if we say out..

the result might not be the result that we want...

that we expected..

that will makes us happy..

and makes us will not regret...

sigh..

A new year..2009~

Just step into a new year 2009,just without reason,my heart is so pain...my mood goes into miss someone mood again...Actually,not really can say is miss someone,as actually i am missing one special feeling...A feeling that is so special,I can't use any words to describe it...It is just sweet and happy.Without her,it seems like no motivation...I miss,I really miss the time that can always chat with her,any sadness just can share with her...Now,until now,I not really clear,for me,she is an idol or a best friend..But,anyway,most important is,no matter how,in my heart,she is playing a role,that is most important friend...She always so willing to support me no matter what decision that i make...That's why makes me so appreciate this friendship..I remember before this,i am asking her to be my dear 'sister',but she said i am her best friend...that is real..But,If suddenly be her sister,she will feel weird...This answer makes me disappointed and touched...Yesterday i sent a message for her,said a very 'thanks' to her,for every advices that she gave me,for every support that she gave me,for everything...along the year 2008...For me,you are a good friend.That's real...that is the reply for your message.

Besides that,i received quite a lot new year message from my friends,thanks yea,but I can't reply..As my credits expired already,hope you all will forgive me yea.I am so touched with few messages...Actually,that is never mind for me to share sadness of my best friends,that is you all...So,no need say thanks you..I just so willing to share you all sadness,that is real...that is my reply for you all messages..Hope you all will be happier in this new year!!!let us work harder in this new year yea!!For my best friends,yiewan,chuey sien,ling fei who is striving for four flat in matriks,I hope you all succeed!!I will support you all deep in my heart...For my another best friend,maria,wish u able to get into the university that you want~For my dear sister,Jessilyn in Seremban and wan jun(first time mention you in my blog,haha),let us study harder together for STPM!!!

A new year...A new start for my sister to step in secondary school,it is so hard for her and which makes me so worry about her...My heart is so pain when heard she said in her class,peralihan 2 ,just have 9 students...pity my sister...haihz,what can i do??Just now,i have to see her tears drops again...Everytime see her like that,i just can use my hand to hug her as tight as i can...She asked me,why she can't hear as other people can hear,and why she can't talk normally like us?But,what answer can i give her?I just speechless...I am very sure,if she can hear like us,she sure will not study peralihan,being looked down by her friends,being alone as she seldom have friends,have to cry sadly coz din have friends,have to worry how people will think when they know she din have ability to hear sound...and can't talk normally like us...Sis,i will support you no matter what happen....

Besides that,I suddenly have a question....What is love?For me,Love can makes people very happy,but can make people very sad too...Love can make one have their confidence back,and feel somehow still have someone to concern and love about them;Love also can make one lost their confidence,and feel like want to give up everything,include their lifes...Love can make someone forget themselves,sacrifice anything just to make their loves one happy....Love can lead someone to wrong way and being crazy too...but,in love world,i think no 'wrong' or 'right',this two words..maybe.Just have who loves who more.


If like that,is it we should avoid from love?so that will not being hurt deeply?Hmm,I think,even we don't want to have it,but it still will automatically comes to find us...and at that moment,we don't even realise it...until we really goes into it deeply,we just realise we already cannot get away from it...Just like our leg already step into a mud,a sticky mud...Even we use our whole energy to get out there,we also can't even succeed to do it...But,when we really get out from the mud,we will be injured...Same like love,when we love deeply,we can't even get away from it...But,when we really get out of it,break up with our loves one,then we will be hurt deeply...is it i describe it correctly?I also don't know...As i don't really have such relationship experiences...Hmm,if want to say like someone before,I think everyone sure have ...

But,in fact,still din have someone really stick to my heart deeply,i mean lover...Someone told me,'like' and 'love' not same...'like' is when you see someone you like,you will feel very happy...'love' is when you see someone you love,your heart will beat faster than usual,your face will turns red,and you can't even control what you want to say...ya,for me,i really agree with it...How about you all?

I think that's all for my this post,happy new year to everyone!!No matter how sad our life,no matter how tough our life,we still have to continue our lifes...Although our face might not show smiles in this new year,but make sure that we must have some courage to continue all of this...And i hope i able to do it...be a tougher huisan...

Tagged by ling fei

01. what is the most important thing in your life?
family and friends =D
02.what is the last thing you bought with your own money?
ice-cream? =Phaha,sure is chocolate favour..^^
03. where do you wish to get married?
=.='..a place that like beautiful like heaven^^but sure is not heaven.^^
04. how old do you think you will get permanently owned by your lover?
20+? or 30+?
05 are you in love?
nope
06. where was the last restaurant you had dinner at?
erm... a restaurant at Tumpat,forget what name d..=.='
07.name the latest book you bought?
reference books but forget which one d..hehe
08. what is your full name?
Goh Hui San
09. do you prefer mother or father?
mother lor..when she is not in angry=.='
10. name a person that you really wish to meet in your real life for the first time?
one of the member of Dong Bang Shin Ki??XP
11. christina or britney?
britney~
12. do you do your own laundry?
No...=.='lazy worm...
13. the most exciting place you want to go?
korea? or paris?haha...undecided..
14. hugs or kisses?
hug!a warm one...
15. point out five things about the person who tagged you
- best friend since form 4..haha...
- fan of DBSK,who affect me to become DBSK's fan too..XP
- friendly
- sweet
-blur-blur...kakakaka^^
16. eight things i’m passionate about
-music(of course),anything about music
-sing and sing and sing
- online
- blogging
- Dong Bang Shin Ki^^
- my best friends?a wonderful friendship
-sleeping=.='
-playing like fool?haha...
- 17. eight books i have read recently
- biology reference book(coz wana copy essays..==)
- chemistry reference book(coz wana do notes...==)
- mathematics reference book(coz wana do holiday homework==)
-that's all ba,ling fei,pity me le...T.T..make me feel like i am truly lazy worm...
18. eight songs i’ve been listening over and over again
- どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう？- 东方神起
- Love in the ice - 东方神起
- Mirotic - 东方神起
- Hi Ya Ya 여름날 - 东方神起
- Drive - 东方神起
- hey!don't bring me down-东方神起
- Are you a good girl-东方神起
- miduhyo-东方神起-(all is dong bang shin ki's song..hahaha..XP)
19. eight things i learned this year
-My heart cannot being so soft,must be hard a bit!!!
- life is too short,must live happily...must learn to be optimistic..!!!
- Let go anything that hurts me...
- must try and work harder to achieve what i want.
-appreciate what i have for now...
-care anyone that i feel they really care for me only...
-live independently without my dear best friends beside me...
-knowledge?haha..thats all ba...(think for so hard..=.=')
20. persons you tag
- Wong Yie Wan!!!(since you so seldom update your blog...kakakaka^^wana tortured you)
- maria!!!!(wana c what weird things will you write..kakaka^^)

Holiday...

For this holiday,except finish my MM2 and MM1 holiday homework,i feel nothing i had done..*sigh*..i feel myself wasting a lot of time...the things that i have planned to do during holiday,like useless only...=.='Now i still left 21 bio essays that i haven't complete,*sigh* again...but,holiday just left about 2 weeks only..T.T...Anyway,when thinking about this holiday,i really speechless...I really spend too much time for watching tv,eat,sleep and my computer...

After this holiday,i will be in upper six already,i started to feel scared...really scared...STPM,such a big word that make everyone shivering include me...Everytime i just know how to scare,but never really try hard for it...I wonder why i like that...Maybe i should know the reason.This is just because my real dream is not in study field...No motivation that push me to study harder..*sigh* again...I really hope i can really try harder and go into the local University...that is the only thing that i should think for now...and i hope my mind really can think for this only...

Last night,got such an entertainment show that have an instrumental competition...I am so like the music that played with the help of instrument...Hmm,the instruments like piano,drum,saxsafon,guitar,harmonica...The instrument that i most prefer is piano,saxsafon and harmonica...*sigh* again...I really wish i can learn one of it...But,my mum will never allow me to do so...She just will say it will waste her money only...I wish someone can teach me...*sigh*...The saxsafon that played with the music 'winter sonata',is totally nice,until i don't know what word should i use to describe it...I am so envy those who can learn those instrument...Music is such a big word make me can totally forget about everything when hear it...

Besides that,after this holiday,my sister also will go into secondary school.If any of my friends always view my post,i think you all will know the condition of my sister.But,if no...I think i mentioned a bit right here...(So sad to say out all of this)Her ear cannot hear sound,even with the help of the er3 ji1,she also can't really hear like what our 'real ear' can hear...So,coz of she can't hear what we said,she also can't exactly talk like normal people...her talking way sounds like really weird...Just me and my mother will know what she want to express...I feel very sad whenever talk about this.Coz of the reason mentioned above,she can't study well...So,she have to study peralihan for the next year...I am so worry...I scared i can't always protect her...As i know the people in secondary school are not good enough,I really scared she will being bullied...*sigh...Everytime i remind her to be careful when she go to secondary school,she told me that she feel scared...All of her friends can go into form 1,her tears flow from her eyes...At this moment,my tears also follow her tears and flow from my eyes too...what can i do?i just can hug her tighly...just to tell her i will always support her...I hope that all of you don't look down on her,try to help her if see she being bullied...that is the only thing you all can help me...please...

I think that's all for this post....maybe a bit bored coz all i mentioned is about my daily life...I will write something special in the next post...oh ya,for the last post,i really appreciate for all my friends that concern me,thanks ya...Now,everything is fine already...and i really hope it will last forever....

Sad...very sad..tears came out again....

At the midnight...first time i see him such sad...drinking alcohol...smoking..and cried all night...Maybe he don't realise what he said,coz of the effect of the alcoholic drink.But,i heard every sentence,every word he said.This is the first time his words makes me cry...tears droping...i don't even realise...but,I just stay at my bedroom,din brave to go out and see how is him...Coz i know,he will be more sad if he see me and my sister...and i don't want to see his sad face which probably will spoilt the little good images of a father in my heart...I din brave,i din brave to step out from my room...

I know,he loves us and don't want to leave us...But,i don't like the way he blaming my mum...why don't he just think of why?why everyone hates him and quarrel with him?instead of blaming everything to my mum..At that moment,i just want to go out from my room,and say out everything that keep in my heart all the time...But,i know my words sure will hurt him deeply and makes him more sad...his crying sound..makes me give up to do so...

The whole night,making all of my family suffered...I don't know how is my mum...but,i know she is more tough,maybe can say tougher than my father...But,last night...i still see and feel she sure got cried while seing my father being like that...This is really the first time i saw my dad such sad...as he never cried before...all of this making me,my sister and mum mostly din sleep for the whole night....but,tears just accompany me for the whole night...

I know,this time is the most serious time...and we must be prepared that he might leaves us and go somewhere else...my mum seems very tough,she never cried...i wonder is she really haves no feeling towards my father?coz quarrel always happen...or she pretend and keep everything in her heart?i so wish to ask her,but i don't brave to do so...i scared to see my mum cry...i know,if she cry,my heart will be very pain...i love my mum than my father,i know...is it i am too bad?as i know my father very care for us...but just his behaviour making us feel tired...but there is one possibility...maybe he is too loves us,whenever such a small thing,he might feel very very hurt and angry...I know this..coz i have been behave like this before...

Sigh...what will happen finally happen...i wonder my father will just leaves us like this?or will be back...and behave nothing happen just like before again...but finally end up quarrel with my mum again?I am so bad think that sometime i really wish divorce happen,and all of us will not suffered already...Tonight,what will happen again?sigh...unknown...i just know my mood now absolutely down to the hell....heart pain like ...don't know how to explain...and describe...but don't worry,i am still fine...

All of this making me more and more don't believe the word..'Love'....relationship between human is such weak...and can be broken anytime...and hurts us finally....

Dreams

Dreams?

what is it actually?

why someone will appear in our dreams?

even someone you don't know also might appear in our dreams...

why?

All of this seems noone can explain about that...

For me,Hui San'theory..haha^^

i think we dream of someone is just because...

we too miss them...

too cares about them...

too love them...

too appreciate them...

For someone unknown who appear in our dreams..

maybe is just because he or she will appear in your life in the future...

soon...

Last night...

I dream of you...

such a sweeet dream that i will not forget...

your sweet smiles...

our sweet friendship...

make me smile even in my dreams...

wah...how good is it?if this dream really happen...

i hope so much we always can spend time together just like before...

went library together...

'watch' you eat in the canteen...

your words always brighten my life...

make my life not so dull...

such a wonderful best friend...

you always is the first one in my heart...

although i know i might not be the first one in your heart...

but i don't mind...

coz your cares for me cover all of this...

when i am totally depressed and sad,

you always is the one giving me the most perfect advice..

i always remember..

never and ever will forget it...

i meet you...

i don't really shy anymore..

my heart beat faster like usual..

so happy and so excited ...

but,after we meet...

my heart feel pain...

coz we din behave as best friend like before...

but i never blame for anything...

i know..

such a special friendship...

me and you...

always need a enough place and time..

to make us close like before..

the shy situation always exist between us...

so weird...

so special...

that makes me more appreciate this friendship than others...

i miss you....

very very miss...

Another dream...

such a very very funny dream...

until i laugh unstop in my dream..(so ugly=.=')..

i watch you two dance and sing in the dream...

dance very very funny...^^

I dream of...

we can happy chatting together just like before...

just like at the school..

crazy together...

and of course our kl trip...

which will stick in our heart forever...

haihz..such a big sigh...

Dreams..

always make me more miss...

make my mood sink to the bottom...

make my mind just can play all of this sweet memories...

just can think of my dear best friends....

i always hope...

time can return...

let me undergoes all of this sweet memories again...

as i really miss it....

To my friends...

Standing infront of library which is full of my sweet memories,

Standing infront of the previous classes which is full of laughter,

standing infront of the canteen which is the place where we always meet,

My heart feel sweet and sour..and even pain...

Sweet,because all of this really my sweet,happy memories,sweet deep in my heart..

Sour,because the places are still exist...

but, friends that involve in all of this sweet memories are all leave...

Sad,because I really miss them...but,all of this sweet memories will always stay alive in my heart..never,never disappear...curved in my heart...

My heart never change till now...although i really want it to be changed....

I might change in the future start from now...

But,I still will care best friends that really worth for me to care...

But,I really don't know i can be changed or not...

Wish to change,because the definition of love have changed...

Love??Friendship??

Distance and time really is a factor to change a wonderful Love and friendship?

No matter is distance between two people's heart or between places,

For me,it really able to change Love and friendship...

Time,..able to let Love and friendship fades...

I feel the distance between us becomes more far and far...I no longer really know you...mentally...what is in ur heart...

I care about you,but maybe coz of too cares,i hurted you...

and myself being hurted too...I am very tired...although i care aboutyou...

What should i do?

maybe nothing,I am too tired to do anything...

I scared i will being hurted again....

Our sweet memories,I will never forget...

Still stay alive in my heart...making my heart feel pain and sweet...

I choosed to let it go...but,I doubt is it really works for us...

Unknown...

maybe time can be the best thing to proove all of this...

I just know until this moment,this second,i still care aboutyou...

My friend...
For my friend who do not meet for few years,
I am sorry to say...
i think time and distance will be a factor to let our friendship fades...
Honestly,i don't really care you like before,
i am sorry...
As i know you still very care about me like before...
But,i promise...
i will try my best to care you just like before...
and maintain our friendship till forever...
I promise...

For my friends that always support me...
Time and distance really not a factor for this case....
Maybe before this,i thought i miss you less than before..
and I not really care about you like before...
But,I am truly wrong...
whenever meet you again and hear again ur sweet voice,
you still the best friend who able touched my heart...
make my heart beat faster than usual...
your advices,your supports,your sweet voices have touched my heart....
curved in my heart,
become the best motivation for me to continue my journey...
no matter how hard my journey is...
I appreciate that...and will always appreciate our friendship...
you always is the one willing to share my difficulties,problems,sadness..and even happiness...
Thanks...
Even thousand of thanks also can't express how much i appreciate your help...
Your cares for me..I will always remember...
No matter how shy we are infront of others,
i know...in our heart,we still treat each other as best friend...
forever...
friendship forever....
Going to meet you,my heart beat faster...
don't know why...Maybe i scared we will shy like before...
But i still willing to face it...
coz i willing to do anything...
just to maintain this sweet and wonderful best friend like you..
and our wonderful friendship...
I wish we can talk as much like usual...
and really behave like best friend...
even can't,i also will not blame for anything...
coz i know,you also don't know why we will like this...
but,i don't care...I just want to see you...
as i really very miss you..
my dear friend...
waiting you all to come back,
that is the only hope for me recently...
I really wish we can talk happily like before...
you all really always able to cheer me up...
share my problems..
i appreciate our friendship..
believes me,
you all will always my best friend..
deep in my heart..
i miss you all...
my friends...
waiting you all to come back...
I love you all,friends...
stay happy always...
remember that i will always cares for you all,support you all,
try my best to do anything for you all...
my best friends..

I need to change...

After so long din update my blog,my feelings become very complex...Happy?sad?worry?touched?All just accumulate in my heart,until i don't even know want to use any words to describe it...A lot of things happen to me...Let me describe it one by one,or else i really don't know how to start this blog..

BAKAT CHUNG HWA
This word really make me feel tired...Whenever people say about this word,my feeling will become very complex...HAPPY coz i can really show a different huisan on this day,someone can't even believe the one sing at the stage really is huisan...Does this means that the ordinary huisan and the huisan who is singing at the stage have too much difference??I admit that,for me...I also think so...At the stage,I can find my confidence which i don't even have in other aspect...That is one of the reasons that i like to sing...Sing can express my feeling very well...Most of the time i sing sad songs,this is because i really is a pessimistic person..

TIRED coz everytime i will cause of this event and can busy until i don't even have time to think any other things else..And at that moment,in my brain all just will full of lyrics,full of melodies...My feeling at that time is really very excited,until i can't even concentrate into any other things already...

SAD coz i still coz of sing and singand sing until i really forget other things include study...So,that's why i said my feelings are such complex...Ok,let us talk about bakat chung hwa instead of keep on describing my feelings..Most happy things is my group succeed to get champion again...But this time is totally different..Another new group with me,this group have xiaw sher,that is one of my best friends,who is extremely like to sing,good in singing malay songs..another one is Desmond,my class's monitor and quite famous in chung hwa as he very good in communicating,can friend with anyone...and finally another new guy called chun way who always show his cute face infront of everyone but actually i don't think he is really happy sometime and quite good in singing...My group's members all really work hard for this competition and i really appreciate that...That's why our hard works get pays!!Hmm,any comments about our performance?for our singing and what should we do while at the stage,we really plan hard and practice...Instead of work hard,we also spend hard..=.='guess what?for our cloths,we have spend almost rm 320!!!I can say that,before this,for my any performance,i never spend so much...

Besides that,I also FORCED to perform solo songs...And the teacher last minutes just ask me to sing...=.='.Not only that,he also choose a 'very special' song for me,that is the oldest song that i ever sing...I can say that i really try hard to sing as this song is really really very slow...So,that's why i choose to sing without music...How you all think of my singing??I do not feel good while singing this song lor,as i really don't have any confidence while singing this song as i really never tried to sing such old song..

No matter how,when all of this come to an end,what a relief!!!I do not feel tired for singing,just I feel tired..coz I can't spend time to practice,coz of ultimate reason,i can't practice songs while at home...So,I just can practice at school,so this makes me really indeed crazy ..busy and very tired...But,if give me enough time,I really like such life,that is singing life~that is one of the reasons that i think my ambition is to be a singer...but i don't think this dream can achieved.I will not feel tired if give me such singing life,as i really very very like to sing...But,maybe all of this just always can be my dream,i can never achieve it...

QUARREL HAPPEN IN MY FAMILY
I think,i will not describe the quarrel that happens in my family,coz i think this is not good to say out everything about my family in blog...So,I just can express my feeling right here...I really don't understand,if we choose to love someone,then why can't we tolerate with our love one?For me,once i love or care someone,I really can sacrifice everything just for them,include time,energy..and of course myself,just can do whatever to make them happy,will feel extremely bad when i see them sad...is it what i did is wrong?Love not suppose to be like this?Love can be affected by any other reasons,can fade coz of no reasons??If it is really like this,then why we should sacrifice ourselves and even any other things for our loves one,and what for we doing all of this if Love can never last forever?If Love can so easily being affected and can't even last forever,what for human still keep on compete until die for their loves one or cares one??haihz,i really don't understand...what can i say just,all of this really make me feel very tired about human relationship,no energy to care all of this already,no matter is family,friendship or even think about those couple relationship,I just feel really tired...

MY BIRTHDAY
What word should i use to describe my feeling on this day??First of all,I am very touched for my all best friends that really wait until exactly 12a.m 20/10/2008 just to send a birthday message for me..Thanks ya,chuey sien,ling fei,meiyee,yiewan,maria,Jessilyn shi hui,meijiun,wooi mee,iznin,yi hao,xiaw sher,caryn...Thanks ya,i really remember whoever send message for me,coz i know this is 'true wishes' that really meant to me...

Besides that,thanks ya for this two best friends,Xiaw sher and caryn^^ who spend their days just to make a special beautiful cards for me and do a special chocolate cake for me..Although when receiving the presents,I just can say thanks you...but,you all don't even know how much it means to me...I really feel very touched..Thanks..I really appreciate that...Just i don't know how to express how touched i am..hahaha..i am shy mar...=.='hahaha..THANKS^^

Hmm,besides that i also get a free call from hotlink,Thanks you hotlink^^I really feel very happy for this service,coz i can have chance to call my special best friends^^As i really very long dun even have chance to talk to them..

First one,MEI YEE^^UNBELIEVABLE!!We talk for 2 hours!!!I really very long din hear her sweet voice...we really share everything happily...I really express everything in my heart to her,include my sadness and happiness...I can feel she really tried her best to give her advice...and her words really wake me up!!!She also share her stories at her college there with me..meiyee,don't worry ya,I always believe that you can...I always support you fully in my heart...no matter what difficulties that you faced,i will try my best to share with you...I really appreciate what you did to me...that is what i called true friend...When i am sad,you always is the one sharing all of this with me...I really don't even know what should i say to you...of course when i am happy,i always will share with her...how much i appreciate this best friend...After talking with you,i just realise how much i miss you...But,I believe our friendship will last forever...I promise,I will not let anything that break our friendship...friendship forever^^meiyee,Thanks...although this word i really so many times to you,but i think even i say for thousands of time,there is still not enough...coz you really help me a lot...what you said,i will remember it...curved in my heart...

second one..YIEWAN AND CHUEY SIEN^^
this two voice shout 2gether hor,really will make my ear pekak already...haha...I really very long din so happy already...^^you two really cheer me up whenever i am sad..and share my sadness when i am sad..I really appreciate that...

YIEWAN~
don't be so manja already lar..haiyo..18th years old already eh!!!haha...But,everytime i ask you don't be manja,but actually i really like your manja face..hahaha..and i really miss your manja face very much^^still remember our K.l trip??when we sleep together,i still remember your cute face hor^^hahahaha...and of course when we play at sunway and genting,your cute shout,i will always remember^^don't think that i will forget oo^^!!!!and yie wan,don't give up ya,I know you can de.I believe you can settle those physic questions!!!I will always support you ya..Thanks ya,sometime when i am extremely down,but after i hear your manja voice,and your cute jokes,you really able to cheer me up^^and i really miss the moment you call me 'siao po',hahaha...Very long already i din hear this name,call me le when you are back^^I miss it..siao po!!!gambateh ya for your exam,waiting you come back,this time we sure will meet ya^^or else i will mecok you,hmph!!!!haha..

CHUEY SIEN~
don't be so stress la ya,haiyo..Sometime you really can de,but you really think too much already..I always believe you really can de.Chuey sien,thanks for trusting me,and let me share your sadness when you really sad.Honestly,I really willing to share every of your sadness...I am very happy that you trust me and willing to let me share your troubles,and sadness...So,never feel sorrow when u want to share with me your sadness ya,i always welcome^^chuey sien,never doubt that you are one of my best friends la..haha,sometime when i said you are my best friend,you like shock or anything...Sometime try to have confident to yourself..k?the difficulties that you face will make you stronger and more tough^^maybe you will feel you are bad luck right now,but maybe you will feel how lucky you are in the future,k??haha,gambateh ya^^i always always always support you too^^No matter what obstacle you have infront of you,let me cross all of this together with you,k??Gambateh together~!!!Don't ever give up ya^^

waiting to see you two^^I really very miss the moment we can talk together happily in the class.Yiewan,i miss your jokesT.T..haha,now without your jokes,sometime really noone can cheer me up le..pity meT.T...chuey sien,when i have sadness,i also thinking of you le,as sometimes we really have some similarities...miss you two so much^^know what?that day when i call u two and talking with you two,i really feel very happy,it is just like we back to the moment that we talk happily and crazy at class...Haihz,damn miss that time...gambateh to you two ya,I will always always support you too^^

MUET SPEAKING TEST
wah,such a scary day for me..But,after this test come to the end,suddenly i feel it is quite interesting for me..haha..It is a great experience for me...Honestly i am happy for having such group with me,coz all members of my group are quite cooperate..Thanks god^^At first,when i know I will be the first one of the first group,I really feel i am having bad luck..But,after thinking of your support and your advice,suddenly I become very calm...and able to speak quite smoothly during the exam...Thanks ya,friend...such a wonderful best friend for me...

Test
Haihz,this time exam result really cham,but I think all of this just can blame myself who really don't even work hard for it...And coz of your words,I promise..I really promise i will not being affected by any other things or person,but only will concentrate into my study..Whenever i feel like want to give up,I sure think of your words...which really wake me up....We gambateh together ya,that is what i promise...

CONCLUSION
And all of this event..and coz of someone and even some words which really hurts me...I really will change...change into a person that I will not too cares of any other friends who i think they don't even cares of me...Coz no point that sacrifice for someone that do not appreciate you,right?what you did just meaningless...All of this happen around me,really affected me a lot...And I really don't think Love can last forever...If someone really change their heart...And i admit,if a distance between two friends is too far,their friendship will not last long..no matter the distance that i mean is distance between places...or even distance between two best friend's heart...So,what can do?Just nothing..For now,I just will cares anyone that i can feel they really cares for me,appreciate me...Then,i will eventually appreciate them and cares like how they treat me...I will sacrifice my time,my energy,and even myself ..for the ones that cares me and i also cares for them...

人生真的如此神奇？？

这是我第一次用华文写部落格，似乎有点不习惯。。。。因为太久没有用华文的关系，如果我的华文太烂，请多多体谅。

打从我听到关于‘时空’这两个字，我就不断地想。。。时空？真的存在吗？当我们在做某些事时，发现那些情景都很熟悉，发现我们仿佛不知何时曾经做过同样的东西时，是因为另外一个的我们在别的时空做过同样一件事吗？如果时空真的存在，那有人说过，如果两个时空撞在一起，时间可以倒流，这是真的吗？这些问题到现在还是一个没人解到的谜吧。。。但我的好奇心真的越来越强，真的很想知道。我想，如果时间真的可以倒流，人类就不会学习珍惜时间了。但是，如果时间真的可以倒流，也可以使我们改变历史，让我们挽救一些我们做错或错过的东西。。。所以说，做人有时就是如此的矛盾。。。。有时真的会失去分辨错对的能力。。。。

尤其是关于感情问题。以前，当我听别人说，爱情会使一个人变得失去理性，甚至仿佛盲了一样。。。。我会有些无法相信的感觉。但是，不知从何时开始，我开始相信了。我真的可以了解到爱情的魔力。当然，所谓的‘爱情’并不是只是指男女之间的。‘爱情’也可以分为友情，亲情，和男女私情的。就拿我来做一个最好版本吧，不知该说我自己笨蛋，感情丰富呢，还是悲观？常常会为亲情和友情烦得。。脸苦得比苦瓜还苦，眼泪总会在我一个人在房间，在加上一些情歌，慢慢地从我那双小眼睛流了下来。。。。有时真的希望自己会是一个铁石心肠的人，绝不会再因为这些事而伤心了，只会为了自己而奋斗，因为有时真的。。。真的很累。。。。

朋友？好朋友？为何你会认识现在的好友呢？别告诉我，你们认识的故事。。。因为，我的意思不是你们怎么认识。。而是，为何？到底是谁在安排这一切的一切？？上帝？真的存在吗？那，家人也是上帝安排的吗？这些都是很奇怪的问题，但我却很想知道。。。有人说，好友是上天忘了给我们的兄弟姐妹？这是真的吗？

一个人的一切，真的是由我们自己掌控呢？还是一早已经是被注定了？如果说，我们可以掌控自己的前途。那，为何每个人家庭背景都不同呢？有些人出生于富豪的家庭，要风得风，要雨得雨，甚至要出国深造也不成问题，无需为金钱而烦恼，也无需顾虑自己的成绩好不好。。。一生人就是无忧无愁，大富大贵地过。。。但有些人呢？却出生在贫困的家庭，要买某些东西，都必须三思而后行，要拼命地读书，以便争取奖学金。。。如果争取不到呢？那他们的前途也就没救了，必须低声下气地向人打工，受尽委屈。也有些人，一出生就是残废的。。。对，也许像别人常说的。残废人士也可以像平常人一样开开心心地生活。他们也是有用的。但，又有谁知道，他们所承受过的苦呢？？被众人欺负，鄙视，甚至嘲笑。。。。痛苦得无法用文字来形容。。。。每天只可以用眼泪来洗脸。。。人类真的是平等的吗？


如果是的话，那这些种种的问题就不会出现在人世间了。。。。难道真的是因为像佛法所说的，这都是因为我们的前世所造成的因果报应？？但是即使是如此，也不见得公平啊。。。因为那是我们的前世嘛，我们根本就不知道我们前世做了些什么。而且，都会说了嘛，那时我们的前世，那为何要让我们在今世受罪呢？？这叫公平吗？？？前世的我们跟今世的我们根本就是两回事，根本就是不同个性的人。。。。真是不明白。。。但，如果要用科学来解释，就真的无法解释了。。。

最后，人与人之间除了一段距离以外，还有其他东西的存在吗？相信，这也是个没人知道的问题。有人说，人与人之间可能还存在很多东西。。。例如，灵魂？一个时空？我们都不知道。。那，宇宙到底有多大呢？和宇宙相比，地球都算小了，那人类不就更渺小吗？那，人与人之间有何苦吵吵闹闹，争风吃醋，自相残杀呢？因为，这根本就是没有意义的事，即使在地球外的外星人也听不到，最多只是瞄地球一眼嘛。。。人类就是如此的渺小，很多事情都不知道。

人生真的如此的神奇吗？很多事情我们身为人类的，都不知道。。。。真的很多。。。。人到底是谁创造的？这世界又是何时才存在的？时空真的存在吗？同样一个的我们存在另外一个世界？还是时空呢？种种问题，我们似乎都一无所知。。。

What must be done in this holiday??!!=.='

HAIZ~one week holiday,sweat..=.='but a lot homework,practical,exams are waiting me..I really will become crazy...I hope for one month holiday actually,haha..so that i can do what i want(sleep,eat,watch olympic,play sms,....swt..=.=')and of course spend more time with my dear friends who all come back to Kota Bharu..^^Hmm,i think tomorrow i am going to meet them,yeah!!!damn miss you all,without realise,you all play such so important role in my bottom heart...T.T..

Few months din see you,and less sms with you already,I thought i can fully declared that i din miss you a lot like before already.But,after chatting with you yesterday,I realise i am just like cheating myself.I still very miss you,and treat you as my most bestie than anyone around me.Coz you are the one who always share my happiness and sadness..always support no matter what had happen.After chatting with you,i always feel like very comfortable...really..Maybe you feel that you din help me anything,but i can tell you that you had help me a lot.Imagining how you had become now...I think i din have chance to meet you this time although you now at k.b already.HAIZ...coz i din close with your friends,and you din close with my friends,just left we two...I scared that i will make you feel bored and i really just want a sweet memory with you.I want to see my this dear friend smile along when you are with me...Everytime you treat me such good,my heart feel like a bit ..how to say..hmm,like after you had eat lemon or something which is sour...until your heart will feels sour too.This is because i have hurt you before.Before this,duno why,i had decide to give up this friendship before..But,i can promise you,start from now,this moment,this second,my stupid mind will not think such stupid thing again.I promise...You will be my bestie forever...and ever...I really miss you,wish have such a chance that i can meet you for few seconds,really..few seconds also never mind...O_0''

HOLIDAY,such a big word that can make all people feel a relief and feel very happy..but,what can be done in one week..=.='do few exercises of MM1,and din touch any notes of biology,and din touch any of chemistry notes...???!!!=.='Haiz,hope school will give us few weeks holiday for form 6 students.As one week really very insufficient for us to complete our hill,and tones of homework,tones of exams waiting us,scary practical and experiment which really very blur waiting us too,which make me breathless..zzz~But,hope and hope..also useless,as this is unchangeable..one week is really one week..What can i do just try to appreciate every second and every minutes that i have for now..(writting blog now..=.=')

Hmm,so I must write down what i must complete in this holiday(left four days..swt..=.=')keep on reminding myself..!!!!

1.revision my Biology(DNA!!!DNA!!!what is that??!!) coz next week will have Biology exam AGAIN..(after every chapter of Biology,teacher always give us exam)..

2.revision my MM2(blurrr subject...super blurr subject,i must get it clear!!!!)next week exam also...=.='

3.Make myself clear that what must prepared and know about the experiment that will be carrying on next week also..=.='scary~coz it is do by individually...=.='

4.if possible,must finish my MM1 exercises...Review chapter which contains 27 super tough questions,but now i just complete..4 questions..=.='

5.my p.a homeworks at school all like half-finished or din touch at all..swt..=.='zzz...

6.if possible,want to try to do Mr.Yam homework for ONCE...(as i never do his homework before..swt..=.=')sorryT.T..Mr.yam..zzz~


I think that's all,if i remember that which i forget to write in this blog,i will add in later on...HAIZ,hope i can finish all of this stuffs...pray hard..swt..=.='...

Let it be,that is the words that i learn for this week,like what you said,i have done my part and what i need to do,so what i can and need to do now is...'let it be...'I will appreciate what i have now,and i will remember your words,never do things that i wil regret already..Thanks for give me such lots advices ya^^i will remember instead of remember my Biology things..(swt..=.=')..hahahaha^^I will appreciate every friendship I have now...and especially you..^^Maybe something that had past,i should not think back again and again,just let it be...then i might can be a happy huisan^^I will come back become a happy huisan after this holiday,i promise^^..and be a hardoworking huisan..swt..=.='(if possible)..throw every of my sadness into the sea!!!!and ignore anyone that hurt me!!~~~cheer up^^The thing that i need to do now just do well in exam and go into local university!!!!that's all^^

Friends!!Tomorrow i will take a lot photo with you all,hope it will be our sweet memories...I love you all!!!!and will miss you all !!!^^always be my bestie till the end of my life..T.T...