Long time din update this blog already...I am sorry to say that,this blog will be a sad blog again...This week,too many things happen on me,until i can't even breath...maybe friends even around and close with me do not sense that whether any changes had happened on me,just maybe sense that i am not in good mood.This is because i just keep inside my heart and din burst or express out to anyone yet even my close friends.As i know i will and for sure i will say until cry...I always want myself to be happy and can bring happiness to everyone...but...y i can't???How to cheer up myself??I hate myself to be like this....*help...haiz...
First of all,i sad coz of my family problems...but i am not going to mention in this blog,as it is not good to say family problems in this blog...so what i can say...just maybe ''house' is just a place for me to sleep,eat and watch TV...someone told me,a house not same with home...home is full of warm feeling,you can feel your family are concern about you...but house is just a place for u to rest,eat..all that..i guess my house is just house....full of quarrel and cry voice only,no happy and laugh....'what i can say just this...
Second,I am sorry to say that...friends,i still can't out from SPM this words...i thought i will be ok already even though anyone ask me about that...but actually i am not...once anyone ask me about that,what can i do just hide and avoid myself from that topic...but sometime i asked myself,did i have to hide myself from that question forever???!!this is really the only way for me???!!!my respond is just 'haiz...'...just like what i said before,my wound in my heart will never recover...this is true,noone can cure and rescue me from this darkness even myself...
Third,this saturday after my muet tuition,i start to become depressed...teacher talks about when choosing our career,we have to consider what factors...1.parent's expectation 2.interest 3.career prospect..and another one i forget already...it is about speaking skill...Among this three factors,i know i already choosed parent's expectation...and i am totally depressed as i can't choose my interest when i want to choose my career...I think you all know my ambition already.When i see those artist having their concert,i really very envy...i wish will be one of them...No need to say until concert,even a small singer is enough for me already.I really very enjoy to sing and expecially in front of audience...I really enjoy in the process of singing..but all of this just a dream,i know...And i realise i din have enough criteria for a singer...short word--being a singer just a dream for huisan...although know is a dream,but i do really hope one day i can achieve it...'haiz'...again...sometime i ask myself again...y??y i like to sing??y???!!y everyone ambition just like engineer,doctor,nurse...can include in a catogory ordinary ambition...but..me??haiz....choose a dream ambition...every day just day dreaming about that...
Fourth,my terrible result of one of my bio exam...short word again--haiz...i hope i will do better in next week exam...if not,i can't imagine how i will be already..my heart is not enough to receive any sadness again...pls...don't....if not,i can say...huisan will fall down forever,and never stand up again...just let her continue to sink in the depth darkness....noone can rescue her..noone...
Fifth,i think i am quite disappointed to myself,coz din being choosen as a prefect...what can i do,just see other people to wear the blur shirt and white skirt....haiz...i know my weakness...i duno how to talk or can say communicate especially in a nervous condition(interview)...but i just duno how to change this weakness....as my concept is always action more than talk...I will do more than say about nonsense....that is huisan..As an example,i will not say i care for ones,but just will say after he or she did see i do really care for her or him....that is me...so when want me say what i will do if i be a prefect...i will not answer well..coz what i think is,give me chance,i will be a good one for you...but if want me to say,i really duno how to say...'haiz' again...
Lastly,i miss my friends so much....haiz...hope can meet them soon...whenever i have sadness,i always think of you all...coz now less and less ppl can share my sadness...can say i duno want express to who....sad to say that,i din actually trust anyone for now...all best friends that i trusted went to study d...i miss you all from my bottom heart..T.T...now feel like want to cry already.....
i think my all sadness are shown at above ....all of this make me really very very down....duno how to say...heartache comes again...haiz....someone please help me to get out of this...i can't help myself already....
First of all,i sad coz of my family problems...but i am not going to mention in this blog,as it is not good to say family problems in this blog...so what i can say...just maybe ''house' is just a place for me to sleep,eat and watch TV...someone told me,a house not same with home...home is full of warm feeling,you can feel your family are concern about you...but house is just a place for u to rest,eat..all that..i guess my house is just house....full of quarrel and cry voice only,no happy and laugh....'what i can say just this...
Second,I am sorry to say that...friends,i still can't out from SPM this words...i thought i will be ok already even though anyone ask me about that...but actually i am not...once anyone ask me about that,what can i do just hide and avoid myself from that topic...but sometime i asked myself,did i have to hide myself from that question forever???!!this is really the only way for me???!!!my respond is just 'haiz...'...just like what i said before,my wound in my heart will never recover...this is true,noone can cure and rescue me from this darkness even myself...
Third,this saturday after my muet tuition,i start to become depressed...teacher talks about when choosing our career,we have to consider what factors...1.parent's expectation 2.interest 3.career prospect..and another one i forget already...it is about speaking skill...Among this three factors,i know i already choosed parent's expectation...and i am totally depressed as i can't choose my interest when i want to choose my career...I think you all know my ambition already.When i see those artist having their concert,i really very envy...i wish will be one of them...No need to say until concert,even a small singer is enough for me already.I really very enjoy to sing and expecially in front of audience...I really enjoy in the process of singing..but all of this just a dream,i know...And i realise i din have enough criteria for a singer...short word--being a singer just a dream for huisan...although know is a dream,but i do really hope one day i can achieve it...'haiz'...again...sometime i ask myself again...y??y i like to sing??y???!!y everyone ambition just like engineer,doctor,nurse...can include in a catogory ordinary ambition...but..me??haiz....choose a dream ambition...every day just day dreaming about that...
Fourth,my terrible result of one of my bio exam...short word again--haiz...i hope i will do better in next week exam...if not,i can't imagine how i will be already..my heart is not enough to receive any sadness again...pls...don't....if not,i can say...huisan will fall down forever,and never stand up again...just let her continue to sink in the depth darkness....noone can rescue her..noone...
Fifth,i think i am quite disappointed to myself,coz din being choosen as a prefect...what can i do,just see other people to wear the blur shirt and white skirt....haiz...i know my weakness...i duno how to talk or can say communicate especially in a nervous condition(interview)...but i just duno how to change this weakness....as my concept is always action more than talk...I will do more than say about nonsense....that is huisan..As an example,i will not say i care for ones,but just will say after he or she did see i do really care for her or him....that is me...so when want me say what i will do if i be a prefect...i will not answer well..coz what i think is,give me chance,i will be a good one for you...but if want me to say,i really duno how to say...'haiz' again...
Lastly,i miss my friends so much....haiz...hope can meet them soon...whenever i have sadness,i always think of you all...coz now less and less ppl can share my sadness...can say i duno want express to who....sad to say that,i din actually trust anyone for now...all best friends that i trusted went to study d...i miss you all from my bottom heart..T.T...now feel like want to cry already.....
i think my all sadness are shown at above ....all of this make me really very very down....duno how to say...heartache comes again...haiz....someone please help me to get out of this...i can't help myself already....
2 comments:
hey
dun so sad ler
cheer up
hehe
Who says it's an impossible dream?
I really believe that you were born to sing.
If there is a chance, GRAB IT! You can do it! I believe in you!
STPM is not everything, silly girl. IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE EXAMS TO HELP YOU GET STARTED.. There are much more important things in life than exams, and that is a caring heart, courage, perseverance and most of all, LIVING. Doing well in STPM is a great goal, move towards it, but do not let it chain your life and future.
You are what you are. God has a special purpose for you, that only you can fulfill. Wish you joy, my dear dear friend.
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