how can it be??

The question keep on repeating appear in my mind.Looking at the clock,time already become later and later.But,my mind still can't ever get out of that question.Asking and asking...but no one can answer my questions.

Maybe i should ask the friend that let me keep on thinking this question.But,how to ask?izzit just ask her...why we can be so close when chatting in msn and sms...but not when we face each other?coz i am not sure whether the problem is me..or we both....is me that one who is too shy to talk to her everytime?or we both also like that?5 years half friendship....in this 5 and half years...i always thought that in my heart..she is my idol for forever...but i din realise since when i din treat her as idol anymore...but till now,i also din sure,izzit i din treat her as idol already?or maybe i treat her as idol just less than before,and still treat her as idol?Face to you,half idol and half best friend...make my mind so doubtful...duno how am i going to face you..duno what am i suppose to talk with you...duno how am i going to communicate with you..duno where to start the conversation with you...Such friendship..will let me think too much..and finally make me tired...i really duno wan get tired coz of friendship...This is because..till now,i really have no confident to my family already...u all sure feel weird..right?There are some stories behind this..but i dun wan to mention about it already.Just in short words,friendship is the only 'place' that can let me rest,let me share everything,let me express my sadness and happiness.So,that 's why i said,friendship is my most precious thing in my life!That why i always think much in friendship problem.Because i don't wan the only 'place' that can bring happiness for me just disappear like that and i don't want 'it' change to a 'place' that make me tired.....So,i just want to get clear in friendship and be happy coz of it.That's all for me.

I really wish to find the 'best friend' feel between us.From i know you till now,i wondering ...izzit such feel never appear between us?and maybe even 'friend feel' never exist too?like what i mention before in my last post..'best friend' feel..is just like someone you can crazy with...someone you can share everything with...someone you can share sadness and happiness..and how can when in msn and sms,we can be such type of friend..but when we face each other infront of a lot people..then we change to another type of friend...what type of friend?i also duno the answer...i wish anyone can answer me....i wish to find the correct reply for my questions...i wish to open the question mark in my heart...i wish to let my mind being clear without doubtful already..This is because i don't want make myself tired...not coz i think too much..Just coz the weird friendship that i have never face make me feel tired.....